The Fallacy of Fulfillment

So one night last week, I laid in the bed whining to David (I do that sometimes, and he really is always so good to give me wise, Biblical counsel) about my lacking fulfillment in my role as a wife and mom that week.  Some weeks I feel good about things- like I am doing my job and that everything is going as it should.  And some weeks I just feel like I should be doing more, and I want to.

So there I was, whining about how I was not feeling fulfilled in living out recycled weeks cluttered with the mundane tasks of changing diapers, washing clothes, cooking meals, and disciplining children.  I felt like I should be out there changing the world, sharing life giving truths with others, and moving mountains.  I should be making a difference in the lives of others.  Because if I were out there doing that I would certainly feel fulfilled.  Or would I? 

After pondering this overnight and praying for God's perspective He gave me a heaping dose of it.  Fulfilliment, at least in the way I often think of it, is a fallacy.  Basically what He helped me to see is that the only true fulfillment comes from being "filled-full" of Christ alone.  My joy must be complete in Him and only Him.

I can be busy from morning until night doing all kinds of things that I deem as worthy tasks and yet I can continue to go through life each day lacking a real filling full of Jesus.

In all actuality, fulfillment is not a worthy goal to strive for.  Feeling fulfilled is not what my aim should be.  As Piper reminds us, "The chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever."  So what should my ultimate goal and purpose each day be?  God's glory.  God's fame.  And what of my need to be fulfilled?  Like so many other things, it must be put to death so that Christ can truly dwell in and through me.  And as He does this, and as I choose to walk in this, I will delight in the tasks He has ordained for me daily as I love Him more, serve Him more, find more joy in Him, and am filled full of Him.